The Masochism Tango

Spoken introduction on An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer: Another familiar type of love song is the passionate or Fiery variety, usually in tango tempo, in which the singer Exhorts his partner to haunt him and taunt him and, if at All possible, to consume him with a kiss of fire. This Particular illustration of this genre is called "The Masochism Tango" I ache for the touch of your lips, dear But much more for the touch of your whips, dear You can raise welts Like nobody else As we dance to the Masochism Tango Let our love be a flame, not an ember Say it's me that you want to dismember Blacken my eye Set fire to my tie As we dance to the Masochism Tango At your command Before you here I stand My heart is in my hand (Yeechh!) It's here that I must be My heart entreats Just hear those savage beats And go put on your cleats And come and trample me Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany That's why I'm in such exquisite agony My soul is on fire It's aflame with desire Which is why I perspire when we tango You caught my nose In your left castanet, love I can feel the pain yet, love Ev'ry time I hear drums And I envy the rose That you held in your teeth, love With the thorns underneath, love Sticking into your gums Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches The last time I needed twenty stitches To sew up the gash You made with your lash As we danced to the Masochism Tango Bash in my brain And make me scream with pain Then kick me once again And say we'll never part I know too well I'm underneath your spell So, darling, if you smell Something burning, it's my heart . . . (hiccup) 'Scuse me! Take your cigarette from its holder And burn your initials in my shoulder Fracture my spine And swear that you're mine As we dance to the Masochism Tango