HATE Podcast 197

*Musical intro* AJ: It’s the very first episode of the purposeless podcast, if you can’t gather by the title. It really has no purpose. Um ah- *laughs* Anton: *laughs* AJ: Righteo then Josh, i’m here joined with my ah good friend Josh Josh: Aw just playing some…. LEGO STAR WARS THREE®️®️®️ Anton: *laughs* AJ: *laughs* ok so if you don’t know why we started laughing, I'll play through the intro, uh we like to keep it pretty chill round here, y’know playing some video games while we’re recording it, uh, and Josh’s jus-just tryna choose a game, seems as though we don’t have enough storage- *Musical intro quiets down* on our xbox®️®️®️ to play lego star wars three®️®️®️ and i’m sure you’re very disappointed about that aren’t you Anton: *laughs* Josh: Utterly depressing AJ: It would be Josh: My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined AJ: Uh, and if you haven’t already noticed there is another voice in the background i’m also here with Anton Anton: Well hello there.. AJ: Yes it’s - uh - it’s good to have everyone here Anton: I’m only here because they couldn’t film at any other house ALL: *chuckles vigorously* AJ: We needed someone’s house to record at seeing as we don’t have, y’know, a recording space yet Anton: Yeah AJ: Uh, what game ya feelin’ Josh, ya feelin’- we got some.. lotta madden Josh: Well I actually found games that were… (profoundly) downloaded Anton: *laughs* Josh: Quite surprising I must say. Alright what game are you the worst at Anton Anton: *laughs in extreme tension* I am extremely terrible at um… heh *breaks into laughter* AJ: *joins in laughter* Anton: FIFA®️®️®️ y’know I'm terrible at that AJ: I can’t really pick a game that I’m bad at seeing as though I waste my entire life in front of this TV right here Anton: (In laughter) I jus- im just- I’m bad at them all y’know. But like I can *unintelligible* AJ: *cutting in* 1v1 me any game right now bitch Anton: *laughs* Josh: *unintelligible* has installed FIFA®️®️®️ Anton: (violently) HEH AJ: Well uh, what do you wanna talk about guys, because I've kinda come in here pretty ill prepared Josh: Well Anton: Huh, eheh, you too AJ: Well um we had a groupchat, we got a couple topics on the groupchat, uh, one of the topics that I can remember off the top of my head is, uh, a lil show called Rick and Morty®️®️®️. This topic is emphasised by the fact that we have a pop vinyl®️®️®️ of Noob Noob®️®️®️ Anton: *chuckling* Our lord and saviour AJ: (chiming in) Our lord and saviour, on the ahh, on the coffee table in front of us, in front of all this food, that um, we’re probably not gonna finish Anton: Yeah probably AJ: Yeah, (dismissively) UM Anton: Gonna be like sitting, at like, 10 o’clock at night just eating chips just crying myself to sleep AJ: How to we feel about Rick and Morty®️®️®️ guys, I personally love it I think its-its a really good show Anton: (chiming in) Really good show, good animation, good comedy AJ: Good comedy Josh: Y’know I’ve never watched Rick and Morty®️®️®️, y’know Anton: And we’re gonna beat you to death for that AJ: Get the fuck out- Anton: *chortles victoriously* AJ: *snickers* Josh: *chuckles with extreme nerve* AJ: Nah honestly I woke up this morning, I was having my coffee and I decided to rewatch, uh, Vindicators III ®️®️®️, w- I- I personally think that’s the best- Anton: The one starring our lord and saviour Noob Noob ®️®️®️ AJ: I reckon, that’s- per- personally I reckon that’s- apart from the Pickle Rick®️®️®️ episode Anton: mmm AJ: Vindicators III®️®️®️ is probably the best episode Anton: Season 3 in- uh- in all its entirety is a pretty good season AJ: It was a good season, i’m still waiting for season 4 Anton: When does that come out again? AJ: I don’t know but the- they announced something and now it’s- they just left us fucking hanging- uh Anton: *wheezes* AJ: So, uh, I recommend we start… fuck area 51 raid lets go on the adult swim headquarters raid, for season 4 of Rick and Morty®️®️®️ cause you already know thats what I’m rooting for Anton: Maybe that’s what they’re hiding in area 51, season 4 of Rick and Morty®️®️®️ AJ: HOLY SHIET Anton: *laughs* AJ: *laughs* Did you guys see what the area 51 raid actually turned out to be? Everyone was like Anton: Yeah *laughs* AJ: (In a mocking tone) This is gonna be the biggest raid, we gonna see them alien tits, you know what I’m saying, it was just a bunch of guys dressed up in shitty alien costumes Anton: Yeah, w- we gonna get them alien aids AJ: Holding signs and shit, and then yo-you have like guys that were there for the memes, you had that one guy that did the naruto run in front of the n- the news reporter, didn’t you see that? Anton: Yeah, He’s gonna get probed AJ: He’s- he’s Anton: *laughs* AJ: *laughs* bro.. he like, fuckin did that, and now he’ll go- he’s back on Reddit®️®️®️ now and everyones like fuckin makin memes about him and shit and he’s just there like; “wow they love me” - quote the original Spider-Man®️®️®️ movie Anton: *laughs* AJ: Where he’s at the top of the building “wow they love me” *laughs* nah but the area 51 raid Josh: Y’know like 15,000 people turned up to that AJ: Yeah Josh: And nothing even happened AJ: I was kinda disappointed. I was actually hoping that a couple people died, not that i’m a bad person, ALL: *chuckles* AJ: Not that I’m a bad person but can you imagine the quality of the memes that would be released and made if someone actually died Anton: I mean it was in September, so we would have one week of like 9/11 memes and then the next we- AJ: *rising laughs* Anton: The next week we would have all the area 51 memes AJ: *laughs* Anton: Like soon we’ll just get 2 more weeks of like- AJ: I actually found this- this top quality Twitter®️®️®️ account, um, lemme find it Josh: *mutters* AJ: It’s actually called, every word did 9/11. So basically the whole theme of this Twitter®️®️®️ account, is they just write every word, and then write did 9/11 after that. So i’ll uh- i’ll educate you on- on some of the uh, the content this Anton: *interrupting* cause I mean we all know the truth, that uh Bush did 9/11 AJ: Yeah I’m spittin straight fax here man uh, fun fact uh, Bush did do 9/11 Anton: *laughs* AJ: *laughs* Um, another fun fact, uh, Tupac is alive and he is in Cuba Anton: (chiming in) and Adolf Hilter is in Argentina AJ: Wasn’t it Antarctica? Anton: Nah, South America Josh: Man don’t you just AJ: Didn’t they actually like, hide Nazis there or something? After world war- they lost world Anton: Yeah they did. Well I don’t know what you can’t see AJ: Alright here we go every word did 9/11. There most recent post uh was uncensored did 9/11 ALL: *maniacal cackle* AJ: Which is kinda true cause I mean if you were there Anton: It was uncensored AJ: (chiming in) It was uncensored ALL: *maniacal cackle* AJ: See- uh-i- it just makes me feel uncomfortable, cause whenever I do 9/11 jokes, they always have a tendency to crash and burn Anton: *laughs* AJ: *laughs* Spittin’ straight fax Anton: Hello! AJ: And their top Tweet®️®️®️ with 1967 retweets and 9000 hearts, you can probably already guess, Bush did do 9/11, umm, what else have we got here we got ‘profaned did 9/11’ Anton: *laughs* AJ: We got ‘newsreaders did 9/11’ Anton: *laughs* AJ: *laughs* Can you just imagine Sandra Sulley, at the- at the wheel of that plane, uh that would be uh, quite the site, combed did 9/11 Josh: KFC®️®️®️ did 9/11 AJ: Yeah but is that really a word, cause it’s kinda just like an alliteration of uh Josh: Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ did 9/11 AJ: No not an alliteration FUCK Anton: Speaking of Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️, the new dating simulator we love you Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ has just come out AJ: For anyone that doesn’t know, because you guys- Josh: The finger lickin’ good dating sim AJ: Basically some- filling you guys in, um, im tryna set this podcast up, y’know, tryna get it rollin’ because I’ve just been so excited to film it, uh, Josh and Anton are just sittin’ in the corner playing Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ dating simulator Josh: Alright look only AJ: Which is basically a digital Josh: We didn’t even get past chapter 1 but, sprinkles best dog Anton: *laughs* AJ: Josh you are literally playing a digital fan fiction of- erotic fan fiction of Colonel Sanchez ®️®️®️ Josh: Hey you don’t know- Anton: (with passion) COLONEL SANCHEZ AJ: FUCK COLONEL SANDERS, dude alright I’ve just opened that I can’t close Anton: *laughs insanely like a hyena but not in a hyper way, more hungrily* Josh: You would fuck Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ ok Anton: No food for you tonight AJ: Damn… what even is the Colonel Sanchez meme cause I like kind of- Anton: Who the hell is Colonel Sanchez do you mean Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ are you conf- confusing the two? AJ: No there’s this thing, it’s Colonel Sanchez, isn’t it that fuckin- look it up I’m not- cause im- im not gonna explain it in detail on the like, being recorded because- if you- Josh: Sanchez… the fuck AJ: I remember looking it up and going on google images and I was pretty, pretty fucked um *fuckboy laugh* Anton: *laughs* AJ: *groans* so um you can just have a look at it, but, yeah, I just personally think it’s- it’s- it’s Anton: Oh so it’s-a-it’s-a mexican restaurant AJ: No aw I’m talkin about the uh, alrigh’ I’ll tell you later, I’ll tell you later Josh: What was it a creamy one? *awkward ass pause* AJ: I don’t know what you’re talking about Josh: Ainsly AJ: I love Ainsly, uh-*what the fuck* Misfits®️®️®️ were actually a big inspiration for me wanting to start this podcast in the first place Josh: They don’t even upload AJ: They don’t, dude I was like- what I like to do sometimes I like, if I can’t go to sleep I’ll just lie on my bed and listen to a podcast, I’ve been really getting into the misfits podcast and the Supermegacast®️®️®️. Love the Supermegacast®️®️®️ Anton: The supermegacast is really good AJ: mmm. But um- fuckin’ they never upload. Like they try to do weekly uploads, and since their last episode which was like 59 - and I’m talking about the misfits by the way, Supermegacast®️®️®️ are actually pretty good with their uploads Anton: The only time they didn’t upload was because they were moving AJ: Mmmyeah- uh yeah Josh: Their only consistent uploads are the podcast AJ: It’s been two months or something like that there’s like a month, and last night I managed to listen to the episode 60 of their podcast and uh, you know, I feel like it was a good listen. What game have we chosen here Josh? Josh: Hit man so I can- AJ: Hit people? Josh: *laughs soullessly* i can take out my rage ALL: *erupt into an incredible bout of laughter* AJ: I thought you were gonna do the- basically, we walk into Anton’s house and we’re tal- we were making jokes about how we were gonna torture Anton, Josh here sent me quite the interesting photo of ah- I asked him if he was uh- good to record the podcast today and he was like: ‘How are we gonna torture Anton today’ and he goes- and I go: ‘What do you mean?’ and he goes: ‘Um just you know maybe something like this’, and he sends me a photo of a- a young woman, she looked pretty young Anton: *laughs* AJ: And she- Josh: Ahh I mean if you wanna see the image, just uh go onto r/cursed images Anton: *laughs* AJ: I’m just uh- uh- it’s a picture of a young woman, looks like she’s in a fair amount of pain Anton: *laughs* AJ: I don’t know, it’s basically two snakes, one going in each nostril Anton: *chuckles* AJ: And then both of those snakes coming out of the- the individual’s mouth, ah yeah there it is, Anton: *laughs* AJ: Anton’s gone to the liberty of, putting it up again. Uh, Josh not gonna lie mate you’re pretty fucked, not gonna lie Anton: *laughs* Josh: Woah there… AJ: w- Anton: *laughs* AJ: You’re really just- Anton: Also, also, in the subreddit®️®️®️, there’s a washing machine full of carrots AJ: *chuckles* Well someth- How else are you going to wash your carrots you idiot Anton: Um *wheezes* AJ: I mean who uses- You don’t use a sink anymore that’s overrated, you gotta go fuckin’ down and dirty in the dishwasher Anton: *chuckles* A shit tonne of toilets in a basketball court AJ: What- Anton: So which uh- basketball team would this be AJ: *pauses* The Chicago Bulls®️®️®️ Anton and AJ: *laughs* Anton: Hah- hah great banter AJ: *laughs* Fuckin’ Matt Tuckerman’s gonna hate me now, w- I always make fun of him, for goin’ for the Bulls®️®️®️. Nah I sit next to- Anton: Something I do not want to say or sh- hair with these guys (?) AJ: Uh, so basically a bit of context here, we are all fifteen years old. Uh- basically, we’re in the democratic where, boomers call us the scum of Sydney Anton: *chuckles* AJ: Uh- and honestly I don’t blame them Anton: Yeah- AJ: They have very valid reasons Anton: We- Kind of- Are the scum AJ: We really are, Fu- I mean homeless people around are better- Anton: *laughs* AJ: Are on a higher level than we are right now Anton: There’s like, baby boomers who take drugs and shit AJ: I mean, I went to Newtown with my mate, because; I’m really into photography and stuff and so is he- So we normally, you know to- Go out on like these day shoots, where we just take photos for the entirety of the day, just hang out. Um and we came across- Josh: *unintelligible murmur* Suss AJ: This very odd individual, down at backstreet, strapping something to the back of his Yute Josh: Oh, fuckin’ *unintelligible murmur* AJ: What are you tryin’ to do here Josh? Anton: *light chuckle* Josh: I dunno, I dunno, I dunno… AJ: Uh ok…*sharp inhale* Let’s move on, Um so we go down to the Backstreet, dude’s like tryna strap- strap something’ to the back of his Yute right? Josh: Oh compromise (?) AJ: Oh are you being compromised? Josh: Too sus... AJ: Oh- Josh: Tryna notice (?) AJ: Anyways- Anton: We’re trying- We’re trying to do a story here *unintelligible murmur* chat (?) AJ: We’re trying to tell a story here Anton: Yea- AJ: Fucking- Inconsiderate Josh Josh: Story, what is that? AJ: *pause* Anyways, Uh *laughs* Josh: I only know how to- Beat people that’s not line (?) All three: *laughs loudly in unison* Josh: I like- AJ: Anyways- I get down to the backstreet, guy’s strapping something to the back of his Truck, and he like, spots the camera around *unintelligible murmur* ‘s neck, he goes: ‘Ahh yeah what are you boys up to today?’ and we were like: ‘Ahh… he’s probably just tryna be nice,’ and then we were like ‘ah yeah, we’re just hangin around Newtown you know?’ and he goes ‘ah yeah you ahh- what ya taking a photo of?’ And then, instantly my thought was: ‘Ah he probably doesn’t want his photo taken, which is fair enough- So we go: ‘Ah yeah, we’re just taking photos of like the scenery and the Street art and stuff, cause you know Newtown’s like Anton: Yeah- AJ: Known for that stuff, and you know. So, and he goes; *short laugh*, as if it was an excuse! The fact that we weren’t taking a photo of him, he goes- Josh: Oh lmao AJ: He goes: ‘Oh yeah, so that means I can take a right here piss here-’ Anton: You know cause, an average arse question- AJ: An average question. So um, we kind of just look at him, aaand well okay, he wasn’t trying to be nice, he IS on meth, we’re gonna keep walking down this- Backstreet *laughs* And then- A little ways back, I heard a trickling of water Anton: *laughs* AJ: I turned around and low and behold; Old mate’s got his dick out and he’s pissin on the- *laughs* Anton: *laughs* AJ: Pissin on the curb, uh, so, that was- that was fun, and I just feel like, I was really blessed to experience, a man uh, probably looked like he was in his sixties, with a cowboy hat on, biggest belt buckle I’ve ever fuckin seen- Anton: *laughs vigorously* AJ: He looked like the most redneck American, but he had the most bogan Australian- Anton: *laughs* Josh: *unintelligible murmur* AJ: He was a very contradictory, a- Anton: *laughs* AJ; To what he was trying to portray himself as- Anton: Pissing cowboy Australian, if you’re listening to this; shoutout to you *chuckles* AJ: Uh, if you wanna come on the podcast to defend- Anton: *chuckles* AJ: To defend yourself- Ah hah- Anton: *laughs* AJ: Feel free to do that Anton: This, this- that, that, that uh, that session we’ll probably do at someone else’s house uh- AJ: Ah yeah-heh *chuckles* Oh unless you wanna do it, at uh- My place, there was just too much shit goin on, cause I live in a tiny ass house, and- The only real place to um *smacks lips* to record a podcast or something like that, would be, in the lounge room, and that’s dead centre between like, all the bedrooms, and the kitchen and the dining room. And the front and back door, so it’s like- It’s basically, imagine a big ass, w- well not even big ass, just a square, and then there’s like, three bedrooms in the front, then the living room, and then on the other end of the living room is the dining room, so and- basically, there’s just people walking in and out all the time. So it’ll just- Every 5 minutes, not even, every 2 minutes it’ll be like: ‘Oh, how you doin? OH, excuse me’ *claps*, it’ll just be like, a lot of people interrupting- Anton: Mhm *agreeing noises* AJ: Stuff like that. And I just didn’t want to put up with it, cause I already have to edit this podcast enough cause we’re a bunch of awkward fucks Anton: *chuckles* AJ: Who don’t know how to hold a conversation Anton: Hey look, you may (?) *claps* What are you gonna do about it? Josh: *unintelligible murmur* Am I still on mute? (?) Did you know that? AJ: Yeah… Anton: *chuckles* Josh: Like I can’t speak AJ: Do you want to emphasise on this point Josh? Josh: Actually um, I- Don’t know where I lost my voice but uh- AJ: Shoutout to all the mute people Anton: *laughs in rapturous glee* We a- Shout out to the best people that listen to this podcast: Deaf people *laughs* AJ: Have you seen that meme? I was- I was going through this FUCKING meme account, because I feel like, I am -I consider myself a connoisseur of the finest memes, not to toot my own horn, but my memes are probably better than yours, so fuck you Anton: Ow! *screaming in sheer agony and distraught* AJ: *chuckles* Um, I was going through this meme page- Josh: I’m a fucking savant at memes AJ: *chuckles* Josh: Okay? Anton: Are you an Instagram®️®️®️ normie or are you a Reddit®️®️®️ guy? A Reddit®️®️®️ chad? AJ: Ahh- A little- A little bit of both, I’ve never heard anyone call it a Reddit®️®️®️ chad Anton: *laughs* That’s what I call it AJ: I kind of just chortled a bit there, it was a nice little chortle, but um *laughs* so yeah I was going through this meme account, aaand, it was like *chuckles* this, they had like this community page, for deaf people. Cause you know, if you have, like a disability, I could only imagine how lonely it might be, because- no one else has that disability and you’re kind of just like- Anton: Well, I’m here now AJ: Yeah, I’m here now, no one- I can’t hear anyone kind of just, going crazy because all I can hear are the, the internal demons in my head Anton: *laughs* AJ: *unintelligible murmur* Anton: *laughs* I mean- Even then, even if you’re not deaf, you could probably hear those sounds AJ: *chuckles* I mean who doesn’t Anton: Yeah? *chuckles lightly* AJ: I mean *chuckles* Anyways, um and basically, what thi- what this account did right, isss that they did, this thing, where, every time, a new person joined, there must’ve been like a small page, because every new uh, like follower that joined, they were like, sent them a private DM, and they were like: ‘Hey welcome to the community’, stuff like that, yada yada yada, and then they had the audacity to send to deaf people, that can not hear, because they were too lazy to type out the message they wan- wanted to you know, tell this new- you know, entrant into their community or this new person. *Deep breath in* They sent them a recording, o-of themselves! Saying the message! Straight fucking sucks, I’m just gonna- (?) Anton: *laughs* AJ: Shit it out Anton: *laughs* AJ: Cause honestly (?) That was so bad! Anton: A-a-a-a-I love it when like- When you’re mid way through a joke, and you’re just like- AJ: This is really shit isn’t it? Anton: *laughs* You know? AJ: I’d rather just leave it in just because of that comment, after like- I’m just gonna fucking edit this out, because I give up man. Anton: *chuckles* AJ: Because- Fucking give up Anton: Why wouldn’t we edit- Let’s just- Uncut, full on just all- AJ: Uncut- Anton: Un- Terrible AJ: Terrible- Anton: Yeah. I feel like if we’re gonna play any music, we’re going to play uh, bass boosted Monsters Inc®️®️®️, the- the film about people AJ: I think on one hand (?) Josh: Mhm *agreement noises* AJ: In class, cause like i said before, we’re all in year 10 and we’re all fifteen Anton: Uh- yuh, I know you’ve been going ahead with bass boost, I’m in your class *chuckles* AJ: You’re actually not *coughs* Anton: Ow! My feelings, you hurt them AJ: *coughs louder* Trying to lau-laugh, and now I’m choking Anton: And now he’s choking to death, good. AJ: Anyway- Any time I get bored in class, I’ve just been going through this phase, where I’ll just sit in the back, SOLELY for the oppurtunity to play ear rape Monsters Inc®️®️®️, wh- *chuckles* when the class gets boring, and it’s uh- it’s pretty nice Anton: That’s why (?) I mean why wouldn’t you? AJ: Honestly why wouldn’t you? Anton: Mm AJ: I mean, come on? Anton: Who doesn’t? I feel like, instead of singing the national anthem, in ah- beginning of Fridays at school, we should just bass boost Monsters Inc®️®️®️, just across the entire school AJ: Yeah fuck the national anthem, you know? Anton: That we only sing half of AJ: Yeah I mean- Josh: *unintelligible murmur* Anton: David Cumiskey is- Josh: OUR anthem, greatest one of- AJ: Did I tell you, the music lesson stories that I did with that? Josh: Yeah- AJ: Yeah, my music teacher Josh: Didn’t you (?) the USSR anthem? AJ: Yeah *chuckles* my music teacher was like, gone for the lesson AJ: I didn’t really like want to do the task which was like, note take classical music or some bullshit like that. So I looked it up and I’m pretty sure it was incorrect because it was off the dodgiest fucking website. Anton: It’s- it’s like wikipedia but it’s called like it’s a misspelt “i” or something *incoherent* lowercase L. AJ: Yeah *laughs* an um Anton: *Cutting in* wlk-a-pedia AJ: *laughs* And i um i apparently the USSR thing is classified as classical music, so that was my excuse and I notated the entirety of the USSR national anthem and then uh, ended up getting a detention *long pause* for it. And i hate my music teacher, can’t wait to drop it in year 11, but um here’s the kicker, I left the detention whistling the ussr national anthem Anton: *keks* AJ: So sir really knew how much of an asshole I was. So how about you Josh you’ve kind of just been over there, fiddling with your. Anton: *cutting in* HEADPHONES AJ: Just gotta clear that up, not his dick, he is not touching his genitals. Just need to be real clear on that Anton: *with excessive amounts of saliva in his mouth* we are all completely clothed AJ: When your friend calls you gay just hit him with the, I’m straighter than the pole your mum dances on. Anton: *laughs* No when someone calls you gay just say, what are you interested? AJ: It’s like the dodgy ass teachers that are like ohhh james ben stop smooching in the back Anton: *laughs* AJ: And when they’re talking they’re like oh we weren’t talking sir and he’s like nahh I saw ya no one else was saw-ing ya cos they was up the front loo-- lii- learning about prawns or whatever Anton: *laughs* prawns Josh: Prawns AJ: yeah you two getting on in the back, there’s always that one teacher. Anton: We probably should edit that out. I think that bo- oh *gives up mid sentence* AJ: Come defend yourself on the podcast Anton: *laughs* cum Josh: I’m getting cold AJ: ok. *changing subject* How about the uh. The uh. The Anton: *intelligibly screams something* AJ: the elephant in the room. Anton: Or lack thereof AJ: Very well spoken Anton, shame you’re wearing airforce 1’s basic bitch shoes. *laughs at his own joke* There is a space on the couch isn’t there? Anton: There is. AJ: And do we know why there is a space on the couch Anton: Because someone is missing. AJ: it’s the fucking greek. Anton: *erupts into laughter* 1st off racist, 2nd off I do not condone those beliefs or anything AJ: Shout out to greek people Anton: *laughs* Yeah shout out to greek people fam AJ: You and being able to follow plans Anton: *audibly flustered* that’s uh ah no AJ: Our friend Arthur was supposed to be on the podcast today. And even we’ve been putting of this recording this podcast for like Josh: A month AJ: A month, yeah. And we- uh I can already tell we’re going to have the shittest upload schedule. If this even does go to upload I might just like, listen to this back and just like be like I’m the cringiest mother fucker I’m gonna delete this. Anton: *laughs* AJ: So uh anyway. Anton: We’re all gonna listen to it and be like so uh who gets the gun and who gets the first bullet AJ: *eating something* Mm mm I agree. But um yeah. What did Arthur have on? He texted- Anton: cousins AJ: cousins *4 seconds of silence* AJ: *like a guitar* bow now we yeow bow now we yeow. I mean I don’t blame them I would do the same too. Anton: *really fucking loudly makes autistic guitar noises* Anton: *laughs* AJ: Shoutout to homosexuals Anton: *laughs* AJ: I ap- Anton: Wh- who haven’t we shouted ou- out this episode. AJ: uhh you know, shout out to cardinal pell Josh: *laughs* Anton: *Completely fucking loses his shit* NO! No no no no. AJ: I’ll I’ll I’ll I’ll I’ll be getting the jail cell ready Anton: *screeches* Josh: Oh well, I’d like to shout out my sslaves. Anton: And they are? Josh: Kyle and Thenuka. AJ: Moving on. Anton: *laughs* AJ: You know that meme where he’s like FBI OPEN UP, that’s what it’s literally like. Shout out to my slaves, and then people just start like fucking jumping through the window. *silence* AJ: That was a shit joke we’re gonna edit that one out. Anton: Yeah, we’re gonna edit out like so much, AJ: It’s gonna be like an hour long and then like 2 minutes. *starts hyperventilating* Josh: Let’s only upload the highlights. Anton: *laughs* AJ: Yeah Josh; Say it’s the highlights and then it’s gonna be like oh where’s the original Anton: Say what what what pee, what pizzas do you guys want boys? Pepponi, Angus Beef, or Tandori Chicken. *stunned silence* AJ: Dude what the fuck is an Angus beef pizza Anton: I have no clue. Josh: I think we should- Anton; *yelling and cutting off Josh* I just got the I just got the message. Would the prefer pepperoni, angus, beef or todo- tando- *sharply inhales* T-TOTOROKI CHICKEN TANDORIA CHICKEN. AJ: Pepperoni 100% *all three say one syllable at the same time* Josh: Respond with vegetarian AJ: nooo Anton: *screaming* PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA AJ: I actually don’t mind that, I’m gonna get crucified for saying that but uh. Anton: I alrea- I alre- I al- I already hear the people rioting outside the house AJ: I already imagine like the hate comments just for this this statement that I’m making, let alone all the comments saying why the fuck are you doing this Aeua- *really bad audio cut* AJ: But basically Anton: Yeah Pepperoni for you guys AJ: Yeah pepperoni. But yeah, but pineapple on pizza isn’t half bad. *humble bragging* I feel like I’m one of those people that doesn’t really listen to stereotypes but is more like, yeah I’ll eat anything but if I don’t like it I’m just not gonna eat it regardless of what it is. Anton: mm AJ: But there hasn’t been much of that like i eat basically anything. Anton: Well I’m the opposite I just eat jack shit. AJ: Yeah I could tell you that cos you’re fucking fat. Josh: *In lower tone* And most of that is like ???? sausage. *everyone does the cereal rage comic* *someone goes sssssss for 4 seconds* AJ: *ignoring Josh’s joke and applauding his own* Just out of nowhere Yeah I could tell you that cos you’re fucking fat. Anton: *laughs* OW AJ: The only time you break a sweat is when you’re having your fifth fucking burger. When you’re on your fifth maccas®️®️®️ run of the day. Anton: When you’re when I’m eating *incoherent trailing off* AJ: Anton you know it’s a problem when you rock up to maccas and they’re like *long pause* sir we can’t serve you Anton: *laughs* EUeuahheuee you know it’s a problem when you’ve run through your fifth family in a day. AJ: Yeah basically. Uhhm should I comment on the fact that Josh is literally eating his headphones. Um *exhales* Anton: Hey look, let him do whatever he wants. AJ: I was gonna call us the most scuffed podcast of Australia you know I reckon but I can’t steal the thunder from the Misfits®️®️®️, cos I’m the only one here- Anton: Who listens to the Misfits®️®️®️. AJ: Not even that, that’s properly scuffed, but um, I won’t say anything now cos uh Hi mum Hi dad but um, you guys are pretty fucking innocent HAHAH Anton: *laughs* Anton: Uhh I’ll take that as a complement. AJ: Yeah you do until you get to year 12 and then you get fucking anal raped Anton: *laughs* AJ: By some big- Anton: no no look look look! AJ: By some big brolic black dude named shaqueef, shredded up colons. Anton: If anyone is gonna rape me, in the ass, it’s gonna be you. AJ: I am very straight sir. *really shit audio cut* AJ: I’m gonna have a sip of this nice water. Dude, my parents are gonna listen to this and be like, and pull me aside and be like *awkward silence* elaborate Anton: *laughs* AJ: Elaborate on the comments made, the lit-little things sayed. We have a groupchat where we put topics on talk about. You contributed nothing joshua. This is why you’ve been a literal mute for the entire ? Anton: You know what? Imma what? I’m going to say liraly- every single message josh has posted into this chat. Josh: Hey Anton: And that message is.. Uh where is it AJ: *laughs* That message is Anton: Uh i should be fine for saturday so that’s the only message he said. But he also gave in the idea of i think lemon cello. AJ: Why don’t we talk about fucking lemmon cello. *Incoherent babbling from 3 people* AJ: So there’s this teacher at our school, I won’t name him, his a good maan hes a good man alright I i fuckn love him Josh: You presents AJ: He’s a great guy and basically he is known as uh the guy that has his own garden, which is great cos i hones- i personally want to start a garden, i think it would be a great thing to do. Anton: I have a garden but it’s dead AJ: Yeah i have a great little, i think it’d be a great little side project he actually he’s actually going well for him and he grows his own lemons um and then he um gives them to his co workers and his friend and idk about the student policy because josh here has been trying to get a lemon off the d maan for Josh: I haven’t gotten a lemon yet AJ: Thing is though he actually said he’d give you one. *triple rambling in agreement* AJ: and now you have to wait like another 2 weeks unless you like find him in this 2 week space of holidays Josh: I’ll find where he lives Anton: not creepy at all, if you’re listening to this, *laughs while inhaling* lock your doors Josh: Give me the lemon god damnit AJ: hup - wa wa we’ll call him fabio cos that’s his nickname. Anton: heh AJ: Fabio if you’re listening Anton: I feel like if we’re gonna make any apparel, one of the quotes is give me a lemon god damnit. AJ: apparel or appear-el? Anton: Apparel, imperial *laughs* AJ: *something* to Lord Vadar®️®️®️. Fabio, if you’re listening to this, shout out to you, come on the podcast to defend yourself and explain why you haven’t given josh a lemon. Cos honestly Josh: Want fabio AJ: *speaking over josh* He’s got 3 lifeline bearings on his breast man, there’s only one reason for that and it’s cos of you sir. Haven’t given him a fucking lemon Anton: *laughs* Josh: Yeah Anton: *laughs* Josh: Gonna cum in my arms AJ: You know how might, how, how, long he’s been waiting for this lemon… fuckin’ long time “chuckles* Anton: Yeah, Once he gets this lemon he’s gonna have a sweet, soury bite into that AJ: He’s not he’s just gonna peg it Anton: *Chuckles” Yeah *Laughs* AJ: What about you josh Josh: I’m gonna cut it open… AJ: ...and just… Josh: eat it raw Anton: *laughs* AJ: I actually… I’m gonna say, I’m actually the biggest weirdo but I actually like eating raw ah lemons Anton: It’s not to bad AJ: You know when you get like a lemon in your drink? Anton: Yeah AJ: When you go out… And I did this since I was little too… Like if there’s a straw in my drink, I’ll like use the straw to get the lemon out and I’ll fuckin’ eat the lemon because I’m just a salty, a sour fuck Anton: *slight chuckle* Josh: Why you sour, Citrus? AJ: What? *laughs” Anton: What the fuck? *laughs* AJ: Why are you sour citrus? Anton: Yeah Yeah *laughs* AJ: Where you trying to do like the Joker®️®️®️ thing like why so serious Anton: *chuckles* AJ: Speaking of Joker®️®️®️… Anton: The new movie AJ: Have you seen the trailer for the new fuckin’ movie Anton: Joaquin Phoenix man, he’s been lookin’, doin’ a bang on job for the joker. AJ: dude I listen to Triple J®️®️®️, that’s like the only radio station I listen to and the host Ben Liam one of them has already seen the premiere already, he said, this guy, is like acting as the Joker®️®️®️ is on par if not better than Heath Ledger’s Joker®️®️®️. Which I found very controversial because… Anton: Hmm AJ: Joker®️®️®️ is literally my favourite superhero, genre, character… Anton: Hmm AJ: Like if you talkin’ about superheroes and supervillians, supervillains Josh: hmmmm hmmmm AJ: Instantly, my guy’s the Joker®️®️®️ Anton: Hmm AJ: So ye Anton: The Joker®️®️®️, The Joker’s®️®️®️ just been on top of the world as like the best villian for a while AJ: And Heath Ledger Josh: It’s already got an award AJ: Dude Heath Ledger and not only is the character of the Joker®️®️®️ been like at the top Heath Ledger has been on top of the Joker. Anton: Yeah AJ: So to say that like the best Joker®️®️®️, could there could be another one better. It’s very exciting I definitely want to see it. Anton: Hmm, Cus mmm cus I, there’s a lot of like talk of you know who’s better; the animated like Joker®️®️®️ who was worse like Mark Hammel or So to say that like the best Joker®️®️®️, could there could be another one better. It’s very exciting I definitely want to see it. Heath Ledger… AJ: Fuck bro, Mark Hammel could um give up his acting career man like that was fucked Anton and Josh: *Both laugh* AJ: Anyway, nah I feel like the actual plot of the new the new Joker®️®️®️ i… Anton: I mean either way if he’s not better than Heath Ledger at least we take out the bad taste of Jaryd Letto out of our mouths Josh: *loudly inhales* woooo that was bad AJ: Suicide Squad®️®️®️ was brutal, Suicide Squad®️®️®️ was brutal Anton: Getting a remake with James Gunn which is pretty good of ahh… AJ: Of Suicide Squad®️®️®️, there remaking the entire thing, same plot line but different characters Anton: Yes I know that yeah i don’t know AJ: Yeah but I think that the new plot for the new Joker®️®️®️ is definetly going to be more a lot more interesting cus we’ve known Joker®️®️®️ as that crazy guy that kills people in the weirdest ways but now we actually get to see how… Anton: Works more than like the… AJ: Not even how it works, but how it slowly turned into mush and he became this fucked individual that cuts people’s lims off and shit. Anton: Yeah, Gamer’s rise up! *chuckles* you know AJ: John Wick®️®️®️ needs your help Anton: *laughs* AJ: everyone is goin’ on about the new John Wick®️®️®️ movie, has anyone here seen it? Anton: Yep, Chapter 3®️®️®️? AJ: Chapter 3®️®️®️ Anton: Yep, Yeah it’s really good AJ: Have you guys seen it? Josh: Yeah AJ: You see I’m about to get Chris fight again, I haven’t seen any of the John Wick®️®️®️ movies. I haven’t even seen Chapter 1®️®️®️ Anton: Well the we stop this recording an you go drown yourself Josh: *Unintelligible mumur* AJ: So it’s been the purposeless podcast… Anton: *Laughs* AJ: ahh it’s been great to have you listen but umm nahh but um I don’t know how long this has been going for cus we’ve been recording this straight into garageband®️®️®️ and it’s not actually giving us a normal time it’s just saying that we are on bar 1071 Anton: That does ot sound like a good thing doesn’t it AJ: So we uhh might end it in like 5 minutes Anton: It’s gonna turn out that we are not recording at all AJ: No, it’s definitely recording Anton: He said after he realised it wasn’t recording AJ: Yeah nah Josh: Oh my bad I turned it off AJ: *laughs* ...Josh Anton: *chuckles* Josh: It wasn’t me Anton: I like how this whole joke was that we were gonna play our Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ dating sim but we never ended up doing it. AJ: Why not, let’s crack it open Anton and Josh: Yeah AJ: Another little housekeeping note uhh the cast of this podcast will constantly be changing cus the whole point of this podcast is we wanted to make, we wanted to make it feel as the listener is most engaged, we want it to feel like you are in a conversation you know like a typical conversation with friends. Anton: Yeah AJ: So I want the listener to feel like they are part of this conversation. So every week the people on the podcast is gonna change we are just gonna invite new people on. The only person that is permanently gonna be on the podcast is me. The only reason for that is because I am the host of it. Anton: *quiet* hmm AJ: Not to toot my own horn but i’m better than you guys and I just need you guys to kow that Anton: *completely intelligible* eye of the house Josh: Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ the beautiful angel AJ: Shut the fuck up Anton * laughs* dude that took a really aggressive turn but yeah so next week Anton: This *Intelligible* gets hotter than a Kentucky frier AJ: And KFC®️®️®️ dating simulator ladies and gentlemen. But um yeah so next week, the max people is 4 if you have any more than 4 then you just get to loud. And that’s including myself you know. We’ll just see how I go. Umm so how’s ahh KFC dating simulator going. Josh: Yeah it’s going pretty good, i’ve got in the handkerchief of Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️. Anton: Woah AJ: What and a place. Anton: What even is your gender male or female? AJ: I’m other Anton: *laughs* AJ: Shout out to the others, I don’t even get other does that mean if you pull down your pants there’s just skin. Anton: *laughs* AJ: There’s just like nothing there Anton: Or is it both? AJ: Or is it for people who consider themselves apache attack helicopters Anton: *laughs* Like me AJ: I’m a… Anton: Shoutout to a other apache attack helicopters in the wha what bajilions. AJ: Quick note I’m not racist and I’m not discriminator, discriminatory, I just love racist comedy. So ahh just putting that one out there. Can I ask you what you had to do to get ahh Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ Handkerchief Josh: It’s ahh free on Steam also it’s labelled a masterpiece so… Anton: which ut is AJ: Well it obviously is, what did you have to get Colonel Sanders’ ®️®️®️ handkerchief, did you like? Anton: No we just were sweaty, our palms were sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy. AJ: See see Colone st like, Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ walk into the room to instantly sweat buckets. Anton: *laughs* Josh: like that meme of which button to press Anton: *laughs* AJ: He he like surpasses the point of which he’s handing you a handkerchief and instantly just st-starts putting buckets underneath you and he’s like hey man I can use this for the deep fryer. Anton: *laughs* AJ: *laughs* Anton: That would be disgusting if all the KFC food was actually like deep fried… AJ *interrupts* I mean Anton: Chicken snack, Chicken snack AJ: Human sweat Josh: OOO OOO AJ: Pig hooves you know same shit. This is fucking content AJ and Anton: *laughs* AJ: Ah we’ve been going on for a while, I think we might end it there cus honestly I don’t this we’ve this is jus just fucked shit Anton: yeah this is fucked AJ: I think I stuttering for a solid three seconds there Josh: Shit I don’t contribute Anton: A did did did did did did that’s all folks Josh: Hmmm AJ: I ah I now know never to have you on this podcast again Josh but you… Josh: ahhh AJ: We live and we learn, well ah thanks for ahh you know listening… Anton: dropping by Josh: Hmmm ahhhh AJ: And ah wasting a portion of your life that really you really could have been used for anything else you know you could have fucking killed your mum during this space of time Anton: *laughs* I do not believe you should kill your mother AJ: It would have been a better, a better use of time nevertheless you’ve listened to it, good on you Josh: sorry i’m now sitting next to Colonel Sanders ®️®️®️ Anton: Then again AJ: I’m gonna go relieve myself watching KFC dating simulator… Anton: *chuckles* AJ: And by that I mean I’m gonna take a shit Anton: *laughs* AJ: like a mad shit AJ: Uhhh but yeah I’ll see you guys later it’s been good Josh: Oohh obvis ahh AJ: any final words Anton: Umm if i’m here for season uhh for 2 episode 2 umm… AJ: It means it’s not my choice *laughs* Anton: It means i’m been held at gunpoint AJ: Call the police Anton: Call the police, save me Josh: couldn’t find another house *Musical outro starts softly playing* Anton: Yeah uhh, that too, so that I should be getting paid… I’m looking at you... Mr Host Josh: Hmmm AJ: Ahh we’ve been using child labour for this podcast, see you later Anton: *laughs* *musical outro*